Well first weekend passes with no post. It was a busy one
with:
·
Friday night dinner with friends at the Orient
·
Saturday house work, guitar practice and 70th
Birthday Celebration of my mom Risë. Lots of fun at City Winery seeing Nancy
Griffith. I will touch on this later
·
Sunday More house work and up keep , guitar
practice and Band Practice.. Will definitely touch on this again
I guess the thing that now sticks out for me as I wrote the list
is how much as adults we are still children. Granted we cope with responsibility
and most of us have learned to play fair most of the time. Most of us have not
shaken the self centered thing completely. Going to the City Winery with my kids,
wife, Father, Mother, Sister and Uncle highlighted what kids can be like as I
still felt the need to separate my 12 and 16 year old. I would have hoped that
they would be able at this point to grasp the concept that this was their Nana’s
night not theirs and that they could suck it up without incident. I am not
going to cross over and start playing the blame game but suffice it to say you ARE
still a kid when you can’t manage to sit for a few hrs and just chill. If your disappointment
causes any slight irregularity to throw you into provoking a fight or to perseverate
on how much this ISN’T where you want to be you need to eat some humble pie and
STFU. This touches off my feelings about us as adults. How do we handle things
like this between us? I have come to the conclusion that sometimes there is
little or no difference between us and our kids.
As I have stated in a previous post, I am in a band. It is a
band of characters. Some of whom don’t do well with not being in charge. I want
to make sure to be clear that I do not absolve myself from this discussion. We
have all come to this with expectations, desires and a feeling of what we want
to do. This can come across as an entitlement or a righteous indignation about
how, what, when and why things get done. Things can get heated and opinions run
deep and strong. There are a few controlling factions and an obvious competition
between two members, DRAMA. I have noticed with my kids that being 15 or 16 can
be defined by drama so to can it is if you are ‘40 something’ and in a band.
Understand that we as a band can play some songs but we are by no means
professional. Nor are our chops tight. I don’t want to sell us to short as
individually we are OK and together we are growing but we are not Pro’s. The band is a major compromise on all levels
as we each are compromising what songs we play. Just know that if some of the
songs we play come on the radio while driving I would not avoid an accident to
turn them off or as like Bob did in let’s make a dope deal 2 I would be yelling
for the Cleaver.
There are also expectations of us to play gigs that we are obviously
not ready for. We might in the future but now we need to focus on getting good.
Be that as it may 16 year old girls have nothing on guys in the 40’s for drama
or for wanting things their way.
As an adult it boils down to things be tenable. It’s all a
compromise no matter what you are involved in. If you exist in a world where
you don’t have to compromise you become insulated and eccentric and I don’t
mean in a good way. You become hopelessly narcissistic. You will find that
unless you own the people around you they will disappear. Compromise has its
limits and everyone’s lines are drawn in the sand at different places but we
all have them. At a certain point we find the acceptance of others needs trod too
much on our own and we have to make choices. I think about this a lot as I feel
like I make a bunch of compromises regularly and at times they provoke anger
and or hopelessness in me. I have been trying to pay attention to my limits and
to be conscious that I have them in an effort to reduce the strain reaching those
put on my soul. I am sure that others
are compromising for me to but the question still remains how far you compromise
before you are just giving in? Giving in and letting go can be healthy but if that
is all that you do you become a door mat. All relationships have them. Getting
past them to a healthier sincere give and take where you really want to
compromise for the other is where I want to be. This extends way past others. It’s
funny I find that the toughest compromises I make are the ones I make with
myself. They usually are me keeping me from growing and becoming or doing what
I need. This blog, whatever it is, finds me not compromising with myself any
longer over taking actions creatively or with finding release. I am finally
taking my own advice. At some point the posts will turn from self realization
to creativity but for know you are going to have to just tolerate my spew
Enjoy the above Clip ... Minus 5 Great band not just because Jeff Tweedy is in it :-)
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