I guess you have to start somewhere. I felt it was about time to embark into narcissism with a blog. I have always wanted to write. It’s always been an ideal and a golden calf that I never got off my ass and just did it. Don't know if it was because I thought I couldn't or if I just was living a lie in my head about it. I mean the movie in my head always stared me as a writer , musician and free thinker but as I take inventory I am realizing that I am one deluded fuck. I am finally getting off my ass…. (I will say this once, just give me freedom with my verbal grammar and we will get along just fine.) I am trying to be creative here!
So I am finally in a band again. It is a tremendous compromise. I am not doing what I want in it but have promised myself that I will come to accept this as a means. I will go on more about this at another time but it is tangential to my writing issues. I want to write music too, so my ramblings will cross over I guess. I have always had the best lines to songs ripping through my head as I drive. Being a scatter brain and not writing these down just makes them lost forever. I have to make some rules for myself. If any of you who will never read this have any recommendations past just write um down as they come I am all ears. I am very conscious of the fact that this forward progression coincides with changes in my life.
I am thinking in a different way. I have shed some negative shit in my brain and am doing the ‘Taking stock thing’. There are some pretty face cringing memories I am looking back on and I am determined to try to learn from my mistakes. I had a chance to live a creative life a few times but my lack of ambition and my propensity to couch lock has conspired to put me at this cross roads. Hell I make no illusions that I will be some famous pop star or celebrated author… I would be very content to look backward with a smile not a grimace… I guess I have a bunch of remembrances which are laser etched like one of those ultra precise photo's scenes of NY on the corner of Broadway and 45th st., hocked for $20. These embarrassments flash by regularly, pretty much my significant plague and gift. These darts are just microseconds in duration but there none the less. Don't think that I am so together about them that they will make it into these pages but what I am hoping to do is to replace them with thing I don't instantly turn away from.
What will follow on these pages, hopefully more often than not; will be my musings and ramblings. Experiences, recipes, songs, reviews, rants, performances, prose and profanity… If you are offended so be it… More often than not It will be just me A
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